|No need to read...this is just another rant!
||[Nov. 4th, 2007|09:55 pm]
So I'm not really even sure what I want to type. I just know that over all I am unhappy. I am unhappy with my dancing, with my friends, with school work, with my love life (or lack of), with my attitude.....yea alot of things.|
First off, lately I feel really disconnected to some of my closest friends. Some of them I feel like they are ignoring me and I am just bugging them for attention. Others I cannot stand and everything they do and say makes me want to scream. I don't know why this is. It makes me mad that I am upset with these people. I don't know what to do about it.
Then there are the "friends" you know those people who you keep saying lets hang out and call me if your bored...and they never do. Does that mean they don't want to be friends or is it just a well I don't want to be close friends, because they still talk to you when it comes to school stuff and what not. I don't know...people are confusing and hard to read.
Then there is the whole i-wish-I-had-a-boyfriend thing. Seriously I feel like i spend so much time thinking about how I really wish I had one. Or even just a make out buddy and terrible as that sounds. Because really I don't even have time for a signifigant other. I just want attention and to be touched and wanted and yea...it is soooo LAME! I hate myself for it...why do I need that? I should need someone else to get by in life! BAH! Then I find myself possibly pursueing things that I don't want, but just because I get attention. It is like a game! IT IS TERRIBLE! I hate myself! Just one question...when is it my turn?
Then the whole dancing thing I won't even get into because I just get more steamed everytime I think about it! It also reminds me how fat I've gotten and how I have no self control and can't stop eating.
I have nothing to look forward to in the rest the semester...just an ass load of work. I just want to go home and see my puppy!