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Life [Oct. 16th, 2007|02:21 pm]
I kind of want to start journaling on a regular basis again. So here goes nothing....

I was in ISU's production of The Who's Tommy and it just closed on Sunday. We started rehearsals the first day of classes and I had been preparing since the end of last school year. I am so glad I made it because seriously I will never be able to work on a production that amazing ever again. I think a lot of people think I'm over dramatic saying that but it is true and you just can't understand unless you were apart of it. Like I will try to explain, but it won't measure up to how amazing I felt after each rehearsal and show. First of all, the people (cast, crew, band, tech, director) are all so fricken talented. I am just blown away sometimes that I am working with them! Like I know a few of them will be famous some day...no doubt. Then after really become familiar with the script and the songs I really appreciate the story and message put forward...oh and ps I LOVE THE WHO NOW! HAHA! Another big reason it is making walking away from this production so hard is that the people I worked with were so amazing and worked so well together. Not that I was best friends with everyone, but for the first time I felt like everyone knew my name and my face and at least knew a little about me. And it just wasn't the cast, but the band, crew and cast were all a team and not separate pieces like they usually end up being. It was such a cool thing to see everyone so welcomed and accepted. Then you know the fact that the last 2 show we SOLD OUT helped so much! I loved rushing around backstage and being crazy and dripping with sweat at the end! But the best was on the last Saturday show, after an almost flawless run, where a lot of people came to see me friends and family included, and before we even turned around in the final everyone in the audience was on their feet! I fricken got tears! that was so amazing! Everyone was rocking out and we looked amazing and the band was awesome and we ran off for curtain call and pass through our crew just screaming...best feeling in the whole world! I was on a high all night! On top of the world! Nothing could get in my way or anyone elses...that night and sunday night were just perfect. I wish I could bottle up that feeling and those moments forever! And then pull them out for times like right now when I am feeling like crap, sad that the show is over! And seriously if I could I would just perform this and rehearsal this for the reast of the semester. Which is making me think more and more about double majoring in acting. This semester more and more I've been feeling like maybe I have talent...maybe I can make the cuts...for the first time I feel good! I don't know but it is a pretty awesome feeling! I've just been getting fantastic feedback about my performance in Tommy and from my acting and oral interp teacher with my work in their class and on my audition piece. Why can't I do it? I am really finding myself and letting go. I don't want to be shy forever. And I just love being on that stage and being with people who have all this passion and excitement for art and creativity.

As far as other aspects of my life go...I am not a good student anymore...haha I care way more about my performance and rehearsal then homework. But don't worry I am not failing!

I got into ISDT, but I don't really like it. I've just come to the conclusion that pretty much all dancers are bitches who are full of themselves. I am very disscouraged right now.

I also am doing Belle Voix women's choir...I still suck at singing and have put it on the back burner with Tommy and all.

I am going to join weight watchers online soon...I want to lose 30 lbs by next year so yea.

No boys. I keep meeting gay ones...not straight ones. I am lonely, but at the same time i have no time for a relationship. I just gets to the point were I really miss being hugged and held and wanted. I miss the attention and the flutter you get in your heart. But I will live.

For now I am off to class.

I will type more later!